INTRODUCTION
Gender and Sexuality Night, a recurring event in the FCverse - the LGBTQ metaverse dedicated to LGBTQ folx and allies, unfolded once again in the second week of January 2024. As participants gathered from 9:00 PM to 10:00 PM on Thursday, the virtual space buzzed with a vibrant blend of fun, serious conversations, and, of course, the joy that comes with being authentically queer.
QUESTIONS & ANSWERS
This week's discussions delved into various aspects of the queer experience, with participants submitting anonymous questions through a Google Form. To respect privacy, no names have been disclosed, and gender-neutral references are employed.
1. "How should you react if someone publicly misgenders you? Should you react angrily or politely?"
Responses to this nuanced question varied, reflecting the diverse experiences within the LGBTQ community. One participant highlighted the importance of understanding the intent behind the misgendering, suggesting that reactions should align with individual moods and the situation. They shared a personal incident at a jewelry store, emphasizing that intentional refusal to correct misgendering can be seen as an act of aggression. The overarching theme was one of encouraging understanding and awareness in responding to such situations.
Another contributor shared their strategy of responding politely to instances of public misgendering. They recounted an incident in a public washroom where they chose humor over anger, illustrating how different approaches may suit individual preferences. Importantly, they acknowledged the varying impact of such experiences on different individuals, emphasizing the need to prioritize personal safety and choose battles wisely.
A third perspective came from someone who had become desensitized to misgendering over time. They traced the evolution of their attitude toward such incidents, emphasizing the importance of gaining confidence in one's identity to mitigate the impact of external judgments.
2. "How do you deal with family members who are in denial about your gender and/or sexuality?"
One person shared their personal experience of trying various methods to get their family members to understand, including therapy, but nothing seemed to work. They eventually decided to move on without their family's support and prioritize their own financial stability. The speaker acknowledges that denial may be a reality that some people have to face and encourages distancing oneself if it is causing harm.
Another person shared that their family members have come to a greater acceptance of their identity, though it was not an easy process. They shared their experience of coming out to their parents about being queer over multiple years instead of all at once. They mentioned that they approached it strategically by getting their parents to be more empathetic toward the Hijra community by relating their experiences to their parents' personal struggles. They explained that they conducted primary research through interviews with trans people from the community and discovered that every person they met had experienced sexual assault. The speaker's father, who had faced caste discrimination, was able to empathize with their experiences, and their mother could relate through her experiences as a woman. While their mother initially struggled to understand, this method of communication, appealing to their parents' hearts, eventually helped them to be more accepting. They also reiterated the previous speaker's advice that financial stability and independence can make acceptance easier for parents.
3. "What is it like being 'out' in the office/workplace?"
Experiences of being 'out' in professional settings were varied. One participant shared the need to disclose their identity to every employer due to different names on official documents. While they faced discrimination in one instance, they found support in another. Another participant discussed the generally positive atmosphere in startup cultures toward diversity, especially in relation to crossdressing.
A third participant highlighted the overall positive trend in corporate environments, citing increased acceptance. They also emphasized the importance of financial stability and independence in facilitating parental acceptance.
4. "Does your city acknowledge the queer presence and have public spaces for queer people to meet, connect, and grow?"
Participants offered insights into the varying levels of acceptance across cities. Some cities were praised for their progress, boasting LGBTQ+ centers, queer-friendly establishments, Pride festivals, and other events fostering community engagement. Others, however, described living in cities where the queer presence is not openly acknowledged, emphasizing the creation of safe spaces within communities and the importance of online platforms for support.
The overall message conveyed the necessity for individuals to seek supportive communities and resources, irrespective of their city's level of recognition.
5. "Share one or many songs that have helped you embrace your queerness or just made the Queer in you happy or just you happy that felt closer to your Queer self"
A diverse playlist emerged from participants, featuring artists like Indigo Girls, Jonathan King, Flora Cash, Hanne Mjøen, and others. Each song carried personal significance, from representing a queer awakening to providing solace in times of sadness. The list reflected the powerful connection between music and the queer experience. Two of them are mentioned below:
The Official Coming Out Song: The person recalled the experience of the reaction of a friend during a come-out moment
"Soulmate" by Flora Cash: The speaker expresses appreciation for the representation and deep emotions connected to these songs and the queer movies that reflect their experiences
CONCLUSION
Gender and Sexuality Night in the FCverse showcased the power of open dialogue and shared experiences in the LGBTQ community. From confronting misgendering to navigating familial denial and workplace dynamics, participants offered valuable insights, fostering understanding and empathy. The night concluded with a lighthearted touch—queer pickup lines that truly captured the spirit of the event.
As we celebrate diversity, create safe spaces, and connect with one another, Gender and Sexuality Night remains a night of extra queer joy for all of us LGBTQ folx from all parts of India. So, for the full experience, you have to be there! See you next Thursday, 9:00 PM in FCverse.