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Coming out advice - for, from and of queer folks.

Updated: Dec 25, 2022

Coming out is often regarded as one of the most anticipated parts of any queer person’s journey - to escape the metaphorical closet, to finally be open with who you truly, really are, to be free to love as your most authentic self, to not hide one of the most important parts of your identity. Coming out, most often, isn’t just something that’s one and done - most queer people have to keep coming out throughout their lives to the same or different people. To come out is a prolonged, continuous, recurring process. It is also a choice. There is no strict rule that anyone who has figured out their sexuality has to come out, or even let anyone know - an individual’s orientation is their own. However, if you would like to come out to someone, here are some handy tips and tricks that might ease you into the process and help you feel more comfortable.

  1. Practice: You might find yourself getting stuck up on the right words, uncertain of what exactly to say. In that case, practice the words; rehearse them over and over again till you have them ready. Talk to yourself in front of a mirror, or record a video if it brings you confidence. You can even write it down on a piece of paper or as a letter if you would find it to be a more coherent form of expressing yourself. It is all about what suits you, what fits you best. Coming out involves some complicated feelings and thoughts, so if you feel unsure, take your time on how to express said emotions. Remember, there is no rush to come out - do it on your terms and in your own time.

  2. Safety: Your safety always, always comes first. There will never be any necessity to come out if your surroundings are not safe. Judge your surroundings, and who you feel comfortable around. Do you trust this person wholeheartedly? Will they accept you for who you are? Will they keep your coming out private if you so wish them to? Will coming out to this person cause a violent reaction? These are all questions that may be unpleasant to think about, and harder to answer, but they are all important for your health and safety, which should remain your number one priority, always. The same goes for coming out to family members. Will doing so cause you harm? Sometimes, even though it may be stifling to stay quiet about a part of yourself, a safe and healthy life will have to come first. Ultimately, it comes down to each and every individual’s preference. Weigh the pros and cons, and figure out if you can come out safely. If so, then, by all means, go for it!

  3. Community: Finding a community is important to help you feel like you are not alone in your coming out story. First Contact provides this community. Through First Contact’s events, held in an online, metaverse space, where you can be anonymous, connect and interact with fellow members of the LGBTQ+ community safely, share coming out stories, be inspired by others, and share your inclinations towards, and hopes for coming out. Through their encouragement, you may find it easier to take that first step.

About the Writer: Shriya Bhatt is a a part-time freelance copywriter. If you want to work with her check out her LinkedIn Profile.

50 views3 comments


Unknown member
Aug 22, 2022

I have a couple of questions here.. so technically, we don't come out to the person just once. We come out to them multiple times, especially when it's parents or siblings. But with each coming out, usually your confidence and energy level dips. Let's say we are really confident about our sexuality but if the reaction to the coming out is bad and due to this we start questioning ourselves yet again, like u know get into the cycle of questioning. Maybe thinking they are right n we are wrong etc. What should we do in that case.. Also, how do we gain energy, because even to accept ourselves or to do the self-talk, there needs to be a certai…

Unknown member
Jan 03, 2023
Replying to

Besides what Akansha said - stay connect to LGBTQ folx - it’s important to understand the natural science behind diversity. Once understood, it becomes rather easy to separate the reality of diversity (our existence) and ignorance induced discriminatory behaviour. That’s why we usually say that while the world takes it time to reach where it needs to be - we’ll stand tall together, turning our disadvantages in advantage as a community.

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