Wrote this song last night. Usually I take my time and try to perfect it but with this one I just let the words flow. I wouldn't say that it's my best work but I like the straightforwardness and simplicity of it.
DISS(CONNECTED)
Time is passing by
He's not here
Love is all around
But not for me
Started loving myself
Being myself
Did that change things?
I now understand my worth
I keep my word
I hold my reins
Maybe it's the way I look now
Hair grown out and the extra weight
Or maybe I am aware now
That some people never deserved me
But how do I make my brain understand
That it isn't me, it's them
How do I make my heart calm down
When all I see is the sky that's been painted red
Head in my hands
I give out too many chances
To the ones who don't deserve them
Even when it comes to friendships
Without trying I become the culprit
They want space, they sure deserve it
So I lay here
Alone in my bed
Contemplating
All the things that were said
"If only you could be angry, it would be easier"
"I'll reach out to you when I am happier"
"Depressed souls around me, I need space"
But when you all were on your knees
You'd keep me close, face to face
And I never left your side
I said I'd never leave your side
But you pushed me aside
Like I was never a part of your life
A part, you wish you could erase
A chapter, quickly brush through, flip the page
And I guess it's alright now
Each one to their own
So I'll be on my own
Leave all of you alone
And it isn't easy
To share so much history
Leave it to be a mystery
But watch me
It's best to dig deep and bury
Even if it makes your vision blurry
May the wind blow
Carry away my "fair-weather friends"
I'll watch the downpour
The flowers will blossom again
I'll gladly share them
But this time more carefully
And I hope
I walk down the altar, catch the taste of his gorgeous lips
Someday I'll laugh about it (with him)
I'll win my toughest battles (with him)
Late night conversations (with him)
Arms that feel like home (oh, it's him)